I Spilled Cereal on My Keyboard and You Won’t Believe What Happened Next

Sometimes, stuff just happens. I’d call this my series of mini-unfortunate events of epic proportions.

Since I first got my hands on a real keyboard, I’ve always loved those that connect to the computer via a cable. Computers used to have a specific port for this type of keyboard. Nowadays, they are all USB keyboards.

The point is that wireless keyboards generally don’t do it for me, as even the best ones tend to have a bit of lag. If you’re a fast typer, you know what I mean. What bothers me the most about wireless keyboards, however, is the battery-life anxiety. There’s no good for a keyboard to just stop working, and what if the battery dies when I am in the middle of something and there’s no replacement readily available?

That’s not to mention that recycling used batteries correctly can be such a pain.

The Logitech K750

But I’m also flexible. A while ago, losing a bet to a friend, I got the Logitech K750. It’s a solar keyboard, so there’s no battery recycling involved. And that thing is sleek. It has two solar panels running on top and a Light-check button. Press on it, and you’ll see a smiley face if there’s a lot of light, as well as a frowny look if the room is too dark. The button also calls up the solar application on your computer, showing its full internal battery.

For a month or so, I kind of enjoyed it. I had to, as I’d already paid almost $100 for it, plus I could sit back, put it on my lap, and type. No strings attached has its perks.

However, it’s still a wireless keyboard. Once in a while, I found that when I typed fast, a random key didn’t register or registered twice. That was quite annoying. And then, now and then, there were intermittent disconnections.

So, after a while, the novelty wore off, and I stuck it under my desk as a backup and went back to my trusty Dell USB keyboard.

Diablo 3 hardcore mode

I play PC games, though not as often as I’d like nowadays, since we have a tiny baby. But once in a while, I was able to put in half an hour or so to level up my Barbarian. It’s a hardcore character, meaning if it dies, it’s gone. There’s no revival and bullshit like that. “Only amateurs and light-weights play non-hardcore,”—I often thought to myself with a smirk.

Something is thrilling about playing hardcore. It’s real, unforgiving. Every fight is like a life-and-death matter: either I kill the monster, or it will kill me (my in-game character, that is). As time went by, I grew more and more attached to Immortal, my Barbarian’s name.

And I was pretty good: Immortal had great gear, especially this cool ancient legendary sword, and we could take on the extremely challenging Torment level 13 with ease. To put this in perspective, if you’re rolling around at this level in Diablo 3, you’re hardcore, even when you’re playing a non-hardcore character.

A series of mini-unfortunate events

The whole thing took place last Saturday. I love Saturdays. Among other things, my wife often takes my daughter shopping, leaving me alone for a few hours. I had that entire morning to myself. I started it properly with a bowl of cereal, and to make the most of my free time, I ate it in my office, in front of my computer. Bad idea! I accidentally spilled almost half of the bowl onto the keyboard while updating another post. 

Getting stuff on a keyboard is a common hazard, and most of the time, you can use a can of compressed air, and all is well—not this time. I took the keyboard out, washed it thoroughly in the sink with water and soap, and placed it outside to dry. That would take a day or so: it’s not been precisely sunny in Northern California, where I live.

I got back in my office and pulled out my backup keyboard. Having been in the dark for so long, the K750’s battery was empty. This is when I realized the worst thing about this solar keyboard: you can’t replace its battery! Instead, I had to place it outside to charge since my office is rather dark.

It worked out, though, as I needed to clean up my desk anyway. About 15 minutes later, I checked, and it was working! “Wow, this thing charges fast!” I thought to myself and felt a bit bad about not really appreciating it.

But it didn’t work for long. When Immortal and I were running a top-level Greater Rift (a dungeon in the game where you have to fight lots and lots of monsters non-stop for a fixed amount of time), the keys started to stop responding intermittently. Diablo 3 is a game you can’t play with just the mouse. To be a real badass and survive, you need the shortcuts on the keyboard to execute certain moves, and the timing is crucial. [ads]

Panicked, I pressed the Light-check button to see if my room was bright enough for the keyboard. A wrong move! The solar app was called up to the foreground, kicking me out of the game. I did an Alt+Tab to flip back in, but the keyboard didn’t respond. It took me a second or two to use the mouse to get back into the game. By then, there was this message waiting for me: “You Have Died! Your deeds of valor will be remembered!”

Yes, my hardcore Barbarian died. For real. There was no way to resurrect it! I was completely stunned. All the epic adventures we did together rushed through my mind… It felt a bit like I just lost a loved one . . . and it was all my fault.

I understand the hardcore concept—as long as I keep playing, a hardcore character will eventually die, one way or another. But it was hard to accept the fact that Immortal was killed, ultimately, by a bowl of cereal. . . It’s still hard now. Maybe I’ll skip breakfast from now on!

By the way, the next day, my Dell USB keyboard dried out and worked fine. But that was a bit too late.